Human history

I chanced upon the following on this forum, and decided to archive it here for my future reading pleasure. Hahahahaha!

The original ancient poem:

《凤阳花鼓》
说凤阳，
道凤阳，
凤阳本是好地方；
自从出了朱皇帝，
十年倒有九年荒。

間奏（四小節）

大户人家卖骡马，
小户人家卖儿郎；
奴家没有儿郎卖，
身背花鼓走四方。

The modern versions:

《红点花鼓》
说红点，
道鼻屎，
以前本是好地方，
自从出了狗皇帝，
百业倒闭九成荒。

官府皇家马赛地，
破产穷家跳地铁！
民家没钱生婴儿，
老睡街边乞四方！


《米暹花鼓》
说米暹，
不买蚶，
吧刹本是好生意，
自从来了狗皇帝，
十摊倒闭九摊荒。

RC奴才做牛马，
CC狗腿扮恶狼，
吧刹只有米暹卖，
狗吃鲍鱼不买蚶！


《肾脏基金花鼓》
说肾脏，
盗基金！
捐款本是好慈善，
自从来个狗朋党，
十元盗用九元空！

还通通通通告？通通通通告？还告？还告？还告？

黄金厕所花生米？
丑闻大选不准提？
诬告民主党诽谤！
控杜莱贪污无罪？


《淡马屎控股》
说控股，
倒亏股！
控股本属好买卖，
自从来了狗皇后，
十年买卖九成亏！

啊咚咚咚咚锵！咚咚咚咚锵！咚锵！咚锵！！咚锵！

可怜百姓当牛马，
消费药税苦难缴！
公积金没薪水差，
部长百万还敢加？

哇通通通通抢？通通通通抢？再抢？再抢？


The first poem is about 朱元璋, the first emperor of the Ming Dynasty. He chased out the Mongolian invaders.

The others are about our very own 猪源赃, who opened his arms to welcome....


Some history:
Emperor Choo decreed that his eldest son should take over his throne when he dies. But alas, his son died before him (Emperor Choo lived to 70 yeas old - a ripe old age in those days, I would think). And his eldest grandson died young too.

So after Emperor Choo's death, his second grandson took to the throne. However, barely a year later, the other son of Emperor Choo (i.e. the uncle of the grandson) rebelled. Uncle Choo fought with little Choo for 3 years and Uncle Choo won.

The dynasty then continued for another 200+ years. That was the most repressive and close-minded regime China has ever had. The decline of China, which until that point was the most powerful nation on earth, can be traced back to this regime and its refusal to accept new ideas and viewpoints.

It was replaced by the Qing dynasty, whose Manchurian rulers were foreigners from the north. Further repression took place, including several notorious mass death penalty for all the relatives of those who wrote books and poems against these foreigners. Qing lasted another 300+ years.

It was the last dynasty. After booting those foreigners who had overwhelmed and taken over his country, Dr. Sun Yat Sen (a medical doctor) and his comrades abolished monarchy and instituted democracy for China for the first time in its history.


Some opinion on the history:
Oh well, China is a hugh place. So the Emperor lah, Uncle lah, Grandson lah took some time to settle their scores and by the time the good Doctor came along to preach and fight for democracy, it was already 600 years later with a foreigners-ruled-locals period in between.

If China were much smaller, for example, the size of a little dot, maybe history would have been made much faster. For example, 60 years instead of 600?

Morpheus: Throughout human history, we have been dependent on machines to survive. Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.